She ran from her house, halfway through a hairstyle change,
holding two marshmallow cones.
She carefully placed one in my hand, sat beside me,
and began to eat her own.
My heart cracked open.
I often lose my focus and my confidence.
Whenever I have a moment of calm by brain interrupts it with doubt, "Am I doing the right thing? Am I actually making a difference in others' lives? Am I growing as an individual? Am I trying hard enough?
What is it exactly that I do?"
IS IT WORTH IT?
Then I sit and wait and pray for a lightning-strike moment.
For someone to out-rightly answer these questions.
I tend to think that highly emotional moments will automatically
answer my doubts and my difficult questions.
And this makes me miss small moments which are actually the most important.
I'm not saying I saved this girls' life or that she changed mine for eternity.
But, it's so important to hold on to basic human interactions.
God is in small moments like these.
Don't forget that there are other people out there.
That all of us become lonely sometimes.
That each of us are unique, yet we all share similarities.
When I acknowledge another's spirit, it is always worth it:
TO SHARE IN THEIR HUMANITY.
To sit for two seconds and eat a mallow cone.
It's not really about climbing the ladder of social expectations or saying
"You know what, today I wiped tears off of five children's faces."
It's about messing up, pursuing excellence, and finding dreams.
It's about learning and teaching.
To share, and give, and sometimes receive.
To try hard to be myself, and not try so hard to meet others' expectations.
To be humble and live simply.
To live is to spend one's life in a particular way or under particular circumstances.
To live well is to do this intentionally.
To take the time to observe.
To not just rely on emotions to find your purpose,
but to choose to engage even if I don't know all the answers.
It is always worth it, even if I can't measure the impact made.
Because I will always grow from this.
So I need to remind myself.
Sit down with people more often.
Ask them questions.
Share in their humanity.
That's when I see God.
When I look at you and you look at me.